In the caption I said it was nine months since we got the worst news of our life.
About ten minutes later I realized it was actually eight months.
(I knew it was eight months. I'm blaming the mix up on being tired and emotional.)
I had decided not to blog on the month mark again until nine months rolled around.
I'll allow myself a pass tonight.
After all, for ten minutes I believed we were there.
Yesterday was probably the hardest day I've had in the last two months.
Thanks to mother nature, my cycle and Naomi's marker days are in sync.
Like I need hormones to "help" my grief.
So yesterday I cried.
A whole lot.
The pain was right at the surface ready to spill over at any moment.
Today I took the boys to see the Santa that reminds me of Jesus.
It was our last chance to catch him before Christmas.
I had a fear that Brady was going to say something about baby sister when Santa asked him what he wants for Christmas.
Thankfully, he stuck with a remote control toy.
Somehow I made it through the whole thing without thinking of Naomi.
We got in the car and I pulled up the picture for the boys to see.
All of the sudden it hit me -
one of my babies was missing.
And so life goes on -
A continual balancing act of making the most of every moment
while we mourn the loss of our baby girl.
***
I'm not sure who all reads this blog.
I do know there are people who see this that don't see my Facebook posts.
Over the last several weeks I had the honor of being the guest on the Give Grace Podcast.
I'm going to leave the links below in case anyone is interested in listening.
Choosing Your Words Wisely - I tell Naomi's story in this episode.
Supporting Someone After Losing a Baby - I get all teary talking about the people who supported us.
What Not to Say to Someone Who Lost a Baby - I get all teary again talking about the people who supported us. It's not all negative, I promise!
These were recorded about a week before we hit the 3 month mark.
I have no idea how I was able to get through the conversation.
But I'm so glad I agreed to do it.
Hearing the episodes over the last month has been healing
and left me all sorts of thankful for our amazing support system.
All over again.
***
It's been
It feels like one minute.
It feels like a hundred years.
***
Grief has not stolen our sense of humor.
