How it was therapeutic for me after Naomi died.
I don't really care if a single person reads what I write.
I just need to get it out.
It's been almost 6 months since I've sat down and let my fingers do the talking.
Since I've felt the urge to a couple of times lately I am making it happen right now.
A couple of weeks ago someone asked a question about Naomi.
The way they asked implied that she wasn't a person -
"the little sister that Brady and Sammy were supposed to have."
It made me so angry.
I wanted to shake them and scream
SHE IS JUST AS REAL AS YOU ARE!
It took me days to calm down.
I still might need to forgive them.
Then today something triggered me.
I found myself on the living room floor having a complete meltdown.
I haven't wept like that in months.
Thankfully the blinds were closed and no one else was home.
It's a bit ironic since Naomi should be the 2.5 year old having the meltdown.
Sometimes our grief sneaks up on us and takes us by surprise.
Sometimes we know why and sometimes we don't.
Today I didn't fully understand what set me off until
I took a late afternoon scroll through Facebook and it hit me
DAUGHTERS DAY.
To the world I'm a #boymom.
In actuality, I have the most precious daughter in the world.
And she was way cuter than all your
Naomi Grace, you are loved beyond belief.
You are cherished and remembered every single day.
You have left a mark on our family forever.
A mark that I can only hope is being transformed into something beautiful.
Your life has blessed us.
Our prayer is that we too will be a blessing.
Because we know Psalm 46:1 to be true.
God has been and continues to be
our refuge,
our strength,
our help in times of trouble.
And I can't help but think that you would have laughed at all my jokes
and known I was only sort of kidding about all those ugly babies.
I love you, Naomi.
