Half a year.
I can't wrap my mind around it.
We should be celebrating milestones,
instead we are designing a headstone.
Last week I met with a psychologist.
This week I picked up the cemetery rules.
With time the constant pain lessens.
Hard days turn into hard moments.
The moments get shorter with more time between them.
However grief does not just resolve -
it circles back.
The sadness has been pretty intense the last several weeks.
My tears have often times come out of nowhere and been uncontrollable.
There are lots of contributing factors that I don't need to go into here.
The "expert advice" was that I am not experiencing depression or an anxiety disorder.
This is just a really horrible loss and it is still very early on.
Well that's great, I guess.
The night we found out we lost Naomi we made a decision -
our loss, Naomi's life will not be in vain.
We have no idea what that looks like or how it will play out,
but it's what I keep reminding myself as we sift through these hard days.
Tonight the four of us will load up and drive to the cemetery.
We will leave flowers for baby sister
and be thankful for the 40 weeks and 2 days we had with her.
"You keep track of all my sorrows.
You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
You have recorded each one in your book."
Psalm 56:8
It's been six months.
It feels like one minute.
It feels like a hundred years.
